You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize