i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
