Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
Randomize
