Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
