just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Randomize
