Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
