Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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