That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
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