Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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