I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
