All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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