Are we in a gay sports bar?
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
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