im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
Randomize
