What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
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