I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
