Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize