please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
We had to coat check the pizza.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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