Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Randomize
