there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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