Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
now i know why i became what i already was.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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