franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
