no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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