best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
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