I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
