So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Randomize
