i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
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