Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
