what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
