i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
