Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
