He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
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