good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Randomize
