You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
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