At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
