Yo dont text me then not text me
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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