Need sex. Gaining weight.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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