We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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