did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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