and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
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