She's JV to your varsity
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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