i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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