dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
