having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
