I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
