; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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