Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Randomize
