Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
