just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize