Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
