Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
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