why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
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