True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
he laminated a picture of his dick.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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