That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
