does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
