I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I just gift wrapped bread.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Randomize
