Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
