This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize