I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Randomize
