new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
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